


How Our Pains Align Themselves

by cassiopeiasara



Category: Major Crimes (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 18:49:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13173012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiopeiasara/pseuds/cassiopeiasara
Summary: Amy and Andrea try to navigate their grief together.





	How Our Pains Align Themselves

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lolcat202](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolcat202/gifts).



> A/N: Spoilers for the two most recent eps. Amy held Andrea at Emma's house and I had feelings about it. Also lolcat asked me to write a thing so I came up with this. No beta so all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and I seek no profit.

> **How our pains align themselves** in symmetry, or in complement, like mirror selves.How-when the phone rings, your voice on the other end allows me to release my wail, reach out to squeeze your hand.

~”Slivers” by Sarah Kay **  
**

Julio holds her first. She knows it’s him through the tears that blur her vision because his hug is tight and warm, a fierce reminder that she’s not alone. She doesn’t know how long they’re standing together but at some point the arms that hold her change. This time to someone taller, softer, who runs their hands over her shoulders and squeezes with a looseness that Amy isn’t used to. When she’s able to take a deep breath, she smells a light floral scent and blinks away the tears in her eyes.

Andrea gives her a soft look, not a smile exactly, it’s not the time and place for those but a slight crinkle of her eyes and an upturn of her mouth. “Are you hungry?”

Amy scans the waiting room and realizes they’re alone. When had everyone left? She shakes her head and opens her mouth to speak but she can’t seem to find the ability to form words.

Andrea nods like she was expecting Amy to react that way and moves her arm to rest on Amy’s shoulder as she steers her out of the hospital. “I’ll drive you home.”

When they’re settled in Andrea’s car, Amy finally has the ability to speak. She leans her head against the window and whispers, “Can you take me to Julio’s? I don’t think I can be alone.”

Andrea nods. “I can but you can also come home with me if you’d like.”

Amy turns toward her but Andrea’s face is turned toward the road. They’ve never been friends exactly but Amy remembers the way they’d laughed when getting Sharon ready for her wedding. She remembers Andrea’s tears at Andy and Sharon’s first dance and she thinks maybe Andrea’s company wouldn’t be so bad.

Amy leans against the window again with a sigh and says, “Yes, I’d like to.”

***

Andrea’s home is simple but warm and Amy tries not to think about how well matched in friendship she was to Sharon.  _God, Sharon_. What were they supposed to do without her?

Andrea gestures toward her couch. “Make yourself at home. I’m going to order something. Any requests?”

Amy just shakes her head and discards her jacket. She doesn’t feel hungry at all but she’ll eat whatever ends up in front of her. Andrea nods and moves into the kitchen while Amy settles on the couch. There’s a throw on the back and she’s not cold but she reaches for it anyway and throws it across her shoulders, leaning back against one arm and closing her eyes.

She wakes later to a gentle tap on her shoulder and the smell of Chinese food. Andrea has changed into sweatpants and an old LAPD shirt. She gives that same soft look.

“Hungry?”

Amy’s stomach growls in response and she moves her hands to hold it. “Yeah, sorry I fell asleep.”

Andrea shakes her head. “Not a problem.” She hands Amy a plate. “Eat whatever you want and leave the rest.”

Amy takes the offered plate and locks her eyes with Andrea’s. “Thank you.”  _For everything_ , she wants to add but that’s too heavy so she leaves it.

Andrea nods and turns to put something on her T.V. while they eat. Amy only makes it through a quarter of her plate before she gets tired again. She sets it on the coffee table and reaches for the blanket again.

Andrea stalls in eating and hands her a pillow. “Your neck will thank you.”

Amy gives her a ghost of a smile and settles back into the couch lulled asleep by the laugh track on the T.V. and Andrea’s quiet eating. 

She wakes a while later to soft whimpering. It takes her a moment to access her surroundings and the source of the sound. Andrea is curled up in an armchair with her hands around her upper body and a picture in her hands. Amy rises and moves toward her, seeing that the picture is one of Andrea, Sharon, and Rusty.

Andrea looks up as Amy approaches and shakes her head. “I’m so--”

Amy shushes her and takes the blanket she slept with wrapping it around Andrea’s shoulders. “You don’t have to.” Amy rubs her shoulders the same way Andrea had for her at the hospital and Andrea turns toward her burying her face in Amy’s neck. Amy isn’t sure what comes out of her mouth but it soon helps to soothe Andrea and helps her fall asleep. Amy readjusts the blanket around Andrea’s shoulders and moves back to the couch, keeping the T.V. low and finds something else to watch.

***

Andrea drives her home the next day and Amy doesn’t see her again until the funeral. There isn’t much time to say anything beyond hello and how sad it all is before Emma Rios is there and they all get caught up in tracking down Stroh.

Then Emma dies and Amy wonders how much more loss any of them can take. She moves to Andrea the minute Provenza calls for her and ushers her toward the front of the house. Away from seeing Emma, away from being confronted with more than any of them can handle. Andrea’s tears wet her shoulder but she doesn’t cry long before she clears her throat and wipes vigorously at her eyes.

She sniffles. “Can you come over? After,” Andrea gestures toward the crime scene, “I know I have security, I’d just feel safer if--”

Amy nods and squeezes her hand. “I’ll bring the food this time.”

Andrea’s mouth turns up into a ghost of a smile and she nods in return, making her way toward the house for files and Amy heads to help with the rest of the crime scene.

****

It’s almost midnight before Amy makes it to Andrea’s. She checks in with the security detail and secures her own weapon before she knocks. Andrea answers the door, strands of hair falling over her eyes despite the ponytail her hair is arranged in.

Amy shrugs. “Sorry, I’m so late, we--”

Andrea shakes her head. “If there’s anyone you don’t have to explain things to, it’s me, Detective.” She opens the door wider and Amy follows her in. She sets the food down on the kitchen counter and turns to see Andrea wiping at her eyes.

Andrea lets out a humorless laugh. “I swear the minute I think I’m done, it all just…” She makes a sweeping motion with her hand and starts crying. Amy moves to her in the same way she had at the crime scene.

While she rubs Andrea’s back, she talks. “I couldn’t look at her office all day. Any time I got close, I would start to tear up. When we got there today, I threw up at the sight of...” she sighs and Andrea wraps her arms tighter around her still crying into her shoulder, “I haven’t done that since I was a rookie. It’s a lot even for those of us who should be used to it.”

Amy feels Andrea nod and she gives her a gentle squeeze. “It’s only been a few days and now there’s this. I’m surprised any of us can talk in full sentences.”

Andrea takes a deep breath and steps out of their embrace. Amy finds that she misses the warmth instantly. Andrea nods toward the food. “What did you bring?”

“Just burgers and fries. I thought comfort food might be the best choice and honestly there’s no better time than midnight for a burger.”

Andrea lets out a small chuckle. “Two in the morning is pretty good too.”

Amy smiles. “Wanna eat in the living room?”

Andrea nods and they settle on the couch much the same way they did a few nights ago. They eat in silence for a few minutes before Andrea asks, “Can you sleep at all?”

Amy sighs. “Not really.”

Andrea nods. “Me either.”

Amy thinks for a moment before she asks, “Would you like me to stay?”

Andrea bites her lip as she turns toward her. “Are you sure? I mean I have security and I know you’re working on the case.”

Amy nods and points toward a stack of folders. “So are you. It’s not a problem, Andrea, really.”

“Then yes, if you don’t mind. I have a guest room.”

“Sounds good.” Amy picks up the remote. “Now let’s see what late night trash we can find.”

****

Amy doesn’t know how long she’s asleep before Andrea is shaking her awake in the guest room. Her mouth feels dry and raw as she sits up and looks into Andrea’s terror filled eyes.

Amy clears her throat. “What’s wrong?”

Andrea takes a deep breath. “You tell me, you were screaming. Nelson came in to check for an intruder but it’s clear.”

Amy shakes her head trying to come up with an explanation but ultimately can’t think of one. “Damn, it must have been a dream.” She pats Andrea’s hand on the bed beside her. “I’m sorry.”

Andrea nods. “I’m just glad it wasn’t him.” She pulls her hands into her lap and starts to fidget with her fingers.

Amy places her hand on Andrea’s folded ones. “We’ll get him, I promise.”

Andrea squeezes her hand. “I know.” She turns away from Amy, focusing her gaze toward the window. “Do you think you can stay until you do?”

Amy runs her thumb across Andrea’s knuckles, bringing her gaze back to Amy. “Of course.”


End file.
